Churches can be especially fond of what I’ll call, prosperity-healing. Growing up in a Nigerian home, I’ve heard about numerous Pastors that have led people astray. Pastors giving rewards before the service to act being healed from a feigned illness. The desired result being popularity and a larger congregation.
Experiencing these situations served me with a problem. How could I believe healing works if all I heard about was Pastors abusing their power? When the big J.C. saved me, this thought didn’t go away. Whenever someone spoke about healing, I’d completely question it, to the point where I wouldn’t give myself room to believe it. There are several accounts of Jesus healing people and I believed that! But, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that humans could heal other humans.
Now, that is true. Humans cannot heal other humans. Once I realised this, I understood things better.
I was healed and it freaked me out. It challenged everything I’d believed in and turned my whole world upside down. For a few days, I struggled with a blocked ear, I tried everything but I just couldn’t shift it. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable. That night at Church, we were talking about the Dynamic Holy Spirit, we touched on how He is the one that gives us gifts (of wisdom, faith, prophecy, healing etc). In that moment, people requested for the gift of healing, I was prayed for and lo and behold, my blocked ear was healed. Unblocked. That’s right friends, me, the one who didn’t understand this concept got healed and that is the beauty of the Holy Spirit. Now I truly know, God’s banter is beyond ours.
It is the Holy Spirit that heals, not us. We are merely a vessel.
All the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives gifts to each person, just as he decides. (1 Corinthians 12:11, NIV)
But, hold on. Why did my ear get blocked again
I just couldn’t understand how my ear became unblocked. I was sure that I was lying to myself, a placebo effect at best. The truth was, I approached this based on my preconceptions of healing. I was consumed by all the horror stories I heard, and focussed on the fault of humans that I completely missed the glory of God. Our past experiences dictate how we approach new things. I cannot say that God blocked my ear again, because that would be a lie. However, I can say, my lack of faith caused it to revert. In that moment when healing occurred, I was surrounded by unshakeable faith. It is impossible to maintain a healing that was a result of my temporary faith or another’s faith. I know that now.
For all of us who haven’t had the greatest experiences/relationship with the Church, this is a reminder that God is the Supreme Being, infinitely perfect. The church is a place for the broken, the lost and the unworthy.
The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart, and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. (Jeremiah 9-10, MSG)
Jeremiah puts this perfectly, the heart is dark and deceitful, only God can cleanse us. At times, we may bring worldly exploitation into our sanctuary, our problem is with people, not with God. The Holy Spirit releases gift to those ready to receive, if we place our trust in humans, we place ourselves in a detrimental position. We cannot afford to do that.
I can imagine you’re thinking – what about your ear? What’s next?
Well, what I’ve learnt is that we try too hard to put Yahweh into a box. We try and conceptualise God, and we use human boundaries to do that. This is a huge reason why a lot of things don’t make sense to us. It is through the Spirit that wisdom comes. Divinity shouldn’t make sense. If it does, then it’s not divine. Jesus was born of a virgin birth, performed miracles, died and rose again. That cannot be understood through intellectuality and I’m okay with that.
So, I don’t know about my ear, neither do I know much about what’s next. What I do know is that in all things, God is still good and that is enough for me.