Jasper Hale from the Twilight Saga had the gift of ‘pathokinesis’, meaning that, he had the ability to feel and manipulate the emotions of those around him. I connect with Jasper more than I would like to think, whilst I cannot manipulate the emotions of people around me, I definitely feel it. I tend to mirror other people’s feeling, I rejoice when people around me rejoice and mourn when they do. However, recently, I feel like I’ve been doing a lot more mourning than I should be doing. This is not okay. It’s been really tough to be a black Christian. From hearing about the death of Rashan Charles in police custody, to the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville.  I have been absolutely devastated by the lack of response from the UK Church to these situations, but even worse, I’ve also felt powerless.

As a Christian, I believe that we shouldn’t feel powerless, we should all feel equipped with power and ready to fill the world with light. We should be counter-cultural, it is what we are called to do. There is one culture that the UK church needs to do more to counter and that is white supremacy. There is no doubt in my mind that the church has been key to the breakdown of some products of white supremacy (i.e slavery), but we should have come far enough to start dismantling the institution itself. I’ve probably lost you by now and that is understandable. White supremacy probably evokes images of the KKK in your mind or even Dylan Roof. The Church does well on denouncing these overt forms of white supremacy, but we need to talk more about the hidden result of this.

Police brutality is exactly what we need to talk about. It’s a very well hidden consequence, so well hidden that you would never know that it disproportionately impacts Black, Asian and minority Ethnic (BAME) community. A few weeks ago, we learned Rashan Charles, Rashan once unknown became the very reason for the riot in Dalston. Rashan was a twenty year old black man from Hackney. Rashan was killed by a police officer after he was seen swallowing an object. Automatically, mainstream media, jumped to vilify Rashan, assuming that the object was drugs and praised the officer for a job well done. Social media, a saving grace since its inception, provided an alternative narrative, a truer image in the midst of falseness. Before it was proven that Rashan didn’t swallow drugs, people online defended Rashan’s humanity, that no matter what he swallowed, he should still be alive and there would have been a higher chance at that if he were white.

Rashan’s case tore the plaster off a sore wound, the community was still reeling from the case of Edson Da Costa, a young black man who died at the hands of the police in Newham. I truly believe that the Church has part to play in healing this wound. The UK church needs to address police brutality, and do it from the pulpit. Black people are dying and the church is silent, we are more inclined to talk more about issues in the US and forget about the insidious racism that exists in the UK. When I heard about Rashan and Edson, I mourned like never before. It hurt especially because Rashan lived near me, I work with boys that look like him. Your church youth group has boys that look like Rashan, what if this happened to one of them?

The voice of the UK church is important in situations like this. Our church needs to grow in compassion, this requires actively listening to the voice of the community and responding to their need. This is what Christ calls us to do. Pastors, stand up on the pulpit and declare our lives matter to you and to our heavenly Father.

In a broken community, the church is needed to practice reconciliation. This is a difficult road, but it requires all of us as the body of Christ.

My friends and I were ready for summer 2011, my 17th birthday was fast approaching, the sun was going to be blazing. Barbeque plans, water fights, outfits and hairstyles were sorted. My mum had loosened the reigns a little bit. Yes, summer 2011 was going to be superb. Little did I know that it was going to be far from it. Six days before my summer officially began, my dad died! The world stopped spinning, my mind went blank, my ears were ringing. I was in a state of pure confusion, I sat on my bed thinking:

My summer is over.

My dad passed away due to an acute left ventricular heart failure. In other words, his heart gave up on him. My dad lived in Nigeria and I had plans to spend more time with him when I ‘grew up’, to visit Nigeria and experience what a father was really like. It took me a long time to process this, summer came and I felt completely hopeless and alone, I just didn’t know how to function, I was absolutely heartbroken.


My Dad and I, October 2008. This would be the last time I saw him.

My mum and my sister found comfort in God, the God they had been serving faithfully. The God that I didn’t know and made no effort to know. I reasoned that if I knew Him, I would feel so disappointed, angry and betrayed. Little did I know that, God would find me in my grief and what a joyous occasion that would be! My journey to God was tumultuous to say the least, but once I arrived in His presence, He led me to this scripture:

A father to the fatherless,
A defender of widows,
Is God in his holy dwelling.
Psalm 68:5, NIV

This travelled to my heart, it thawed the ice on its way, and settled there. It resonated with every ounce of my being. This scripture stared right into my soul and made me know that, God cares.

In moments of grief, I hang onto Psalm 68:5, it forces me to remember who God is, to remember His promises. Grief is an overwhelming and consuming emotion, you can’t go under it, over it or around it. You have to go through it. It may be hard, but God is right there journeying with you. God found me in my grief, and I am grateful for that. It was a difficult process and I had to face some hard truths. I thought that knowing God would take all my sadness away, I was wrong. This may be the case for you, but it definitely wasn’t for me. I had to learn that God will provide me with comfort, He would give me a space to vent, cry, wallow but He always lifts me up.

Many of us may be fatherless today, for whatever reason. I have news for you – God wants to be your father. God is a father to the fatherless, He is everything and more. He fills gaps and restores lives. God’s Word is for you, his Word is your lighthouse. He is your heavenly Father.

Finally, to the 17 year old me, I love you, God loves you. Your summer may feel like it’s over but darling, your life is just beginning.

This year, the International Women’s Day campaign is calling on us to ‘Be Bold for Change’, a challenge for everyone to take groundbreaking action that truly drives the greatest change for women. This message is apt for the season we are in at the moment, for the fight against gender inequality. Moreso, it’s perfect for the rise of Jesus feminism. Sarah Bessey describes Jesus feminism as ‘God’s radical notion that women are people, too, precisely because they love and follow Jesus’. This simple argument shocks people, especially my mother. I don’t blame her, a lot of black women don’t see themselves in feminism, it doesn’t represent them and historically it never fought for them.

Alien to my mother: My mother has been doing feminist acts without a label for a very long time, I’m sure this is the same for her mother and many other women. After all, women predate feminist ideology. However, labelling my mother as feminist is almost an insult, or as she puts it, ‘it isn’t in my dictionary’. Ironically, I’ve learnt all my Jesus feminism from her, she has shown me why black women are one of the most religious demographic in the world. Growing up, seeing her love and kindness to others inspired me, her ability to be warm-hearted and firm is a skill I aim to perfect. Some fundamentalist will argue that women shouldn’t be working, some feminists will argue that women have to work. My mother doesn’t care about either, in many homes, mothers like mine didn’t have a choice, they had to work and rush home to be there for their children. Now that her daughters have a choice, my mother makes sure we know that it is a choice. Without knowing it, my mother has been one of the most important feminist figures in my life, second only to Jesus.

Home to me: The question is are we living in the age of intersectional feminism, where the experiences of black women are included in the movement? Probably not. The church aspires to be a place where everyone can come together and heal, where everyone’s experience is valued. Paul orders us to be ‘perfectly united in mind and thought’ (1Corinthians 1:10). Paul didn’t order us to be uniformed, he knew that we are different, but we are to use our unison in Christ to show the world that inequality is not welcomed here. Jesus feminism is home, a place where I can be my authentic self and attempt to tackle the world through Jesus lenses. As a black Jesus feminist, I make a large amount of people uncomfortable and I am okay with that. I exist in the middle of a triple Venn diagram, a place where my Christianity, blackness and womanhood meet. I have grown up seeing beautiful black women lead congregations, I have seen black women raise up beautiful children in the way of the Lord. I have seen black women fight the good fight. This is why Jesus feminism is home to me.

I wrote this for my mother and I hope it resonates with you and yours. Today, I urge us not to fall into the trap of trying to change our mother’s worldview into our more westernised one. They too were bold for change once, maybe they don’t need to be at the forefront of this fight. Maybe we need to lead the way and show them that even though it is alien to them, it still deserves a chance to exist. On International Women’s Day, we need to remember that our mothers are also trying to make sense of this world, they too are only going through life for the first time.

Churches can be especially fond of what I’ll call, prosperity-healing. Growing up in a Nigerian home, I’ve heard about numerous Pastors that have led people astray. Pastors giving rewards before the service to act being healed from a feigned illness. The desired result being popularity and a larger congregation.

Experiencing these situations served me with a problem. How could I believe healing works if all I heard about was Pastors abusing their power? When the big J.C. saved me, this thought didn’t go away. Whenever someone spoke about healing, I’d completely question it, to the point where I wouldn’t give myself room to believe it. There are several accounts of Jesus healing people and I believed that! But, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that humans could heal other humans.

Now, that is true. Humans cannot heal other humans. Once I realised this, I understood things better.

I was healed and it freaked me out. It challenged everything I’d believed in and turned my whole world upside down. For a few days, I struggled with a blocked ear, I tried everything but I just couldn’t shift it. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable. That night at Church, we were talking about the Dynamic Holy Spirit, we touched on how He is the one that gives us gifts (of wisdom, faith, prophecy, healing etc). In that moment, people requested for the gift of healing, I was prayed for and lo and behold, my blocked ear was healed. Unblocked. That’s right friends, me, the one who didn’t understand this concept got healed and that is the beauty of the Holy Spirit. Now I truly know, God’s banter is beyond ours.

It is the Holy Spirit that heals, not us. We are merely a vessel.

All the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives gifts to each person, just as he decides. (1 Corinthians 12:11, NIV)

But, hold on. Why did my ear get blocked again


I just couldn’t understand how my ear became unblocked. I was sure that I was lying to myself, a placebo effect at best. The truth was, I approached this based on my preconceptions of healing. I was consumed by all the horror stories I heard, and focussed on the fault of humans that I completely missed the glory of God. Our past experiences dictate how we approach new things. I cannot say that God blocked my ear again, because that would be a lie. However, I can say, my lack of faith caused it to revert. In that moment when healing occurred, I was surrounded by unshakeable faith. It is impossible to maintain a healing that was a result of my temporary faith or another’s faith. I know that now.

For all of us who haven’t had the greatest experiences/relationship with the Church, this is a reminder that God is the Supreme Being, infinitely perfect. The church is a place for the broken, the lost and the unworthy.

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart, and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. (Jeremiah 9-10, MSG)

Jeremiah puts this perfectly, the heart is dark and deceitful, only God can cleanse us. At times, we may bring worldly exploitation into our sanctuary, our problem is with people, not with God. The Holy Spirit releases gift to those ready to receive, if we place our trust in humans, we place ourselves in a detrimental position. We cannot afford to do that.

I can imagine you’re thinking – what about your ear? What’s next?

Well, what I’ve learnt is that we try too hard to put Yahweh into a box. We try and conceptualise God, and we use human boundaries to do that. This is a huge reason why a lot of things don’t make sense to us. It is through the Spirit that wisdom comes. Divinity shouldn’t make sense. If it does, then it’s not divine. Jesus was born of a virgin birth, performed miracles, died and rose again. That cannot be understood through intellectuality and I’m okay with that.

So, I don’t know about my ear, neither do I know much about what’s next. What I do know is that in all things, God is still good and that is enough for me.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

Each day is a time to give thanks for all that Christ has done for us and a time to remember that no one is ever too far away from salvation.


I look at myself a year ago: unfaithful, prideful and empty. I can so easily say that all the steps I took was through my own intuition, but how wrong would I be? Very!

This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6 NIV).

It so easy for us to claim our own salvation and miss out the reason for every season, the reason we are saved, the reason we are forgiven – Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour. This is not a time for me to talk about my salvation, but rather to remind us of the fresh beginning that comes with Christ’s Resurrection.

It is important to note that when Christ resurrected, He wasn’t immediately recognizable. “While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood amongst them and said to them ‘Peace be with you’. They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost” (Luke 24:36-7, NIV). Changing your ways, accepting Christ in your life and becoming that new creation means that you WILL not be the same person you were previously, meaning that your friends and family WILL notice the change, they won’t recognise the new you because you are brand new! The old has gone and the new is here! Truth is, it may sit well with some and it may not with others. You may lose some friends, you may gain new friends, but the loss means nothing in comparison to gaining Christ.

Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4, KJV)

All that matters is your commitment to the one who created the universe, the one who created all things around you, the one who created YOU.


When Christ resurrected, he wasn’t a ghost. They may have believed that he was but he clearly says “why are you so troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.” (Luke 24:38-9, NIV). As a black woman born again into Christ Jesus, many choose to believe I’m going through a phase. In times like this, there is no need to doubt what God is doing in your life. No need to be troubled or anxious.

Acts 9: 1-31 talks about Paul’s conversion, Acts: 16: 11-15 talks about Lydia’s conversion, Acts 8: 26-36 talks about the Ethiopian Eunuch’s conversion. There are many more examples in the bible that talks about people’s journeys from their old lives to the new. What you would find in these cases is that none of the above went back to dabble in their old lives but rather worked to glorify God through their new lives. It is imperative that you do not let the ghost of your previous life loiter around your new life. Going to university but still going back to sixth-form is a bit strange isn’t it? What I want you to know is that your new life is fresh, a new beginning.

Christ has resurrected us!

REMEMBER: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV). Do not let anyone trick you into believing that you are far from salvation, trust me, salvation is only a prayer away. Don’t believe me? Try it, find a quiet space and pray with me:

Lord, I know that I have not lived my life for You, I know that I have been living it for myself and for my own gratification. Right now, right here I admit that I need you in my life. I acknowledge that Jesus Christ died for my sins on the cross, and I pray that I can receive the forgiveness that you have made available to me through His death on that cross. Lord, I receive you into my life, fill me up anew and dwell in my heart. From today, I surrender my life to you. In Jesus’s name, Amen.